I have been thinking lately of how we are taught to love. We are taught to love in the larger sense of the word: not to feel but to act. There is a dichotomy here that must not be ignored, lest you find yourself relying solely on the feeling which tends to waver. We have the ability to order our actions. This is why love must fall under this category of our lives as well! 🙂

The bible teaches over and over again that we should love to the point of offending people. Jesus told us that we should expect persecution for following the way that he loved. The disciples and apostles understood this in a way that we don’t. They were drug from their homes, imprisoned, beaten, and some even put to death for the sake of love. So, naturally, I wrote a poem.*

They pulled me by my elbows out into the streets.

Those same elbows, ten years younger, rested on the table as my Lord spoke to me of love.

Serving rich red wine around the group of friends:

We wondered while we sipped if this was once water, and smiled in remembrance of His party tricks.

We didn’t know then what we know now- We were still celebrating a wedding.

Now my feet drag through the sun warmed dust. I can’t help myself

as I give into sin:

digging my heels into the dirt a little more to make their job harder.

Oh, “Love thy neighbor”

I pick up my feet and walk.



My ears perk up at the familiar sounds of soldiers ransacking

my things.

Pure muscle, they are.

And pure soul, I am reminded.

Is it sinful to smile, knowing I’ve barely anything to my name?

I have much more tangible things to give than teapots and a sleeping mat.

They are more than welcome to a little wisdom and a lot of love.

I will wait behind a few bars of iron,

settled snuggly in,

humming a hymn.

They will come at midnight if the ground shakes.

Thanks for reading! 🙂

*disclaimer: this poem is not technically accurate in theology. 🙂



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Something in you is different than something in me and suddenly

we are two trains…

one is traveling at the rate of 74 km per hour and while trying to convert that to miles to figure the approximate point in time they will reach the intersection,

the other is practically jumping its tracks because

graffiti is art too

and two lovebirds are eloping in one of her cars.

For heaven’s sake, pop the cork and sit on that chair.

Not the brown one, but the big fluffy one that I thought could be off limits the first few times. Like maybe one of those sitcom dads would appear at the top of the stairs wagging his finger to the amusement of the studio audience.

It didn’t happen.

I will curl up on the ottoman and have the audacity to paw at your knees every so often in a sort of mixed up, shaken

hopeful expectation.  Not today?

ok. Maybe tomorrow.

But for tonight that knee-high-to-a-grasshopper-red-headed-kid

is whispering

sweet somethings:

Is God real?

And God is leaning in dizzyingly close.

He wants

to hear the answer

so that

He can rejoice too…

Like that time I got excited about the oreos, mulitplied by



the regret.

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Though the waves may crash around

As praying hands for me to drown,

With my last breath, my last decree

That my next, be next to Thee.

Though the sun may tempt my thirst,

And desert sands may do their worst,

As the deer pants for relief,

I shall long to taste belief.

Beneath the moon the Darkness lies,

Not to be seen lest in disguise,

Wrapped in shadow and draped in night

One goal only: to vanquish Light.

I shall not fear, though fear draws close,

In His peace I shall repose.

For He has promised and will uphold,

In Him rest for my weary soul.






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The Beach, Sex, and C.S. Lewis: Part III

If you missed part two of this post, it might be worth the while taking a peek at it. The only conclusion I can offer would include stripping cheeseburgers and hungry atheists. Go check it out! 

Lewis successfully (with a bit of that lovable intelligent British humor) compares the sexual appetite to that of the food appetite. In my last post I followed along his footsteps. I now would like to deviate from food for two reasons: 1) Lewis continues along this analogy, and I think for a blog I have sufficiently covered it and 2) I have not eaten lunch today and would still like to cherish what I will eat in about half an hour!

Over the past century, there has been an immense effort to coax talk of sex from the shadows of Victorian propriety into the spotlight of the modern conversation. Now, one constantly hears the phrase “Sex is nothing to be ashamed of.” Lewis says that the Church wholeheartedly agrees! The old Christian teachers taught that if original sin did not occur, sex would in fact be even greater and more fulfilling than it is now! However, concealed within the above statement is a smaller whisper that says, “The state into which the sexual instinct has now got is nothing to be ashamed of.”

Again, Lewis leads us back into a food analogy. Yes, enjoying your dinner is not a shameful thing. However, centering your life around culinary delights and peeping at food covertly during your spare time is quite another issue. Similarly, engaging in sex at the appropriate time (within marriage) is a completely natural and good thing! However, that is not our societal norm.

When we begin to evaluate the advertisements shamelessly putting the spotlight on sex to sell us a new car or pasta strainer, they are dripping with the promise of health, youth, and happiness. What does our knowledge tell us about our current sexual state? That it leads to quite the opposite of health, youth, and happiness: instead we have disease, deception, jealousies, and broken relationships.

Therefore, if these qualities are the results of a “natural” desire, does this really point toward the original biological need? They are detrimental to this purpose. Sex has gone beyond what it was created for.











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The Beach, Sex, and C.S. Lewis: Part II

This post is going to concern Sexual Morality…

I think about half of my potential readers just gave up and clicked away to more interesting websites! Au revoir!

… Wait, you’re still reading? Ok then! Here we go! 🙂 I am using “Mere Christianity” by C.S. Lewis as my guide for this post. I have just finished his short essay on the subject, and cannot wait to get some thoughts out there!

He states within the first few paragraphs that chastity is the most unpopular of the Christian virtues. I have more than a few acquaintances who would whole-heartedly agree! For many people, the ball drops here for Christianity. They base this on the fact that sexuality is comparable to all other natural human instincts: hunger, fear of venomous snakes, and the need for shelter. These instincts exist for the purpose of continuing the human race. We need nourishment to live, therefore we eat. We need to create other people to carry on humanity, therefore we have a sex drive. And if we were dumb enough to kiss a venomous snake, perhaps it is better for the race as a whole that we didn’t procreate. Accurate comparison, no? Haha. Allow me to get back on track.

Christianity is in this balance: It is stuck in an “either-or” conundrum. Either you marry and are faithful to one person sexually, or you choose complete abstinence. This leads Lewis to the conclusion that either Christianity is wrong, or our basic sexual instinct has gone wrong.

Back to biology. Let us take a closer look at the biological thought process on sex as an impulse toward procreation in comparison to the appetite. Lewis writes that if we indulge in this instinct, we certainly can overeat.  A man can eat for two, but never for ten! So it follows, if the current state of our sexual affairs were in order, man would only indulge just a little over the biological need. This is not so! Sexual appetites have gone fare above and beyond what is needed to keep on making other generations.

Lewis also brings in a great analogy of the strip-tease. Suppose you were submerged in a culture where people would pay money and gather around to watch and drool over a  cheeseburger being slowly revealed underneath a silver platter cover. Would you not think that this culture had something seriously wrong with their appetite for food? Is this not what we do as a culture in our appetite for sex?

There are those that would conclude that the culture above were starving. Why else would they do this? So are we starving for sex? No! We are practically bombarded with it. And still, we strive to satiate a seemingly insatiable appetite.


(No cheeseburgers were exploited during the making of this post)






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The Beach, Sex, and C.S. Lewis

So, I went on a day trip to St. Augustine with my folks and sister today. In lieu of grabbing a school book, I found myself reaching for “Mere Christianity” by C.S. Lewis. I was NOT disappointed. I am only about halfway through it, and I am finding it hard to put down even now. Everything was fine and dandy, until I reached the chapters on Sexual Morality and Christian Marriage. My jaw dropped! Have you ever been reading intently only to find yourself nodding along in agreement with the author? I do it all the time… and I feel silly!

For those of you who do not know me, (and seeing as how my average views are embarrassingly low, chances are you don’t! Haha) I should start out by saying that my obsession with these chapters, Sexual Morality and Christian Marriage are motivated by my recent decision to obtain a degree in Marriage and Family Therapy.

In a couple of posts, I would love to share with you some of Lewis’s thoughts on these two subjects.

See you in the next post! 🙂

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Between the ( )s.

There are a precious many things I (have) learn(ed) in this life:

1. how to fuse two metals ( ) with an oxyacetylene torch

2. at what precise setting my toaster will yield the preferred ratio of light brown to that delicious ( ) umber

3. that in order to make a child feel truly adequate they must toe the ( ) line between expectation and praise

4. making friends ( ) can be done ( ) gently and wordlessly and within three minutes

5. that there is an acrobatic balance to conveying a point to ( ) a room full of wide-eyed kindergarteners ( )

6. how to frame in a room ( ) painting an entire wall, preventing ( ) mistakes

7. at just what point he will ( ) be proud of me

8. that life is meant to be ( ) lived

1. (without creating a pool of red hot liquid)
2. (and somehow still elusive)
3. (somewhat arbitrarily created)
4. (and enemies) (on occasion)
5. (and utterly confusing) (who sometimes flourish better in the confusion, anyways)
6. (before) (and sometimes doctoring)
7. (begin to)
8. (excavated between its small curved lines and beneath the noise of the obvious rather than just)

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Bagger, The Springer Spaniel!

Hey guys! I just recently started a new business “venture”. I am stepping out into the world of pet portraits/commissioned drawings. I LOVE Prismacolor Pencils. I just wanted to give a quick photo update!

Here is my second Pet Portrait: Bagger Vance Groover. He is a GORGEOUS Springer Spaniel with a heart of gold! This drawing is 11×14″ matted and framed to 16×20″. Let me know what you think!

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Digging below the clutter and
Diving beneath the noise
We are warmed by the peace of silence
And sovereignty wraps around our shoulders like an embrace


Sinking below the stirring sounds
Leaving distractions alone to serve no purpose
We surround ourselves in your presence
Our eyes delight in the simple searching of your face




How much more the tone of your voice within the context of the quiet
How much more the warmth in your eyes when there is nothing else to pull our gaze from yours.
How diminished is our self-seeking voice
And how august our words of praise
When our voice is allowed to reach your ears.




Pressing in, further still
We are rewarded, in turn, by mercy
Gently speaking worth into our being
Gently affirming our significance within your design


The hunger that was absent just moments before
Is insatiable now.
It is manifested in the way that we cannot even begin to imagine
Walking away from the fire.



How much more the touch of your hand when we crave your guidance
How much more the comfort of your arms when we can no longer hold our own weight.
How quiet are our worries and
How confident our smiles
When we are allowed to share in your significance.


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The Prodigal.

I am fighting in the stifling heat.

I cannot muster the strength to lift my eyes to search for the possibility of rain to heal my throat.

I feel every inhale as rasping pain and every exhale as the wish for it to be my last.

Just willing one foot in front of the other is draining me faster than the world can replenish.

Beads of sweat that my body can barely afford to spare have made

trail marks down my dust covered face and arms,

and I can trace every wrong step I have taken in every single missing thread

in my servant’s cloth.

Each tear tells me of the times I cried in desperation as I fell into the weight of it all.

Each stain reminds me that I have slept in the earth and communed with the soil.

The hunger is now consuming me. Not hunger for food, for I have known the shame of desiring to steal from the lowliest of all.

The hunger for what I remember.

The hunger to be hungry no more.

And there you are, Husband.

And there you are.

And here you are.

I have imagined your form. I have imagined your figure.

I have surely imagined the way the tears from your eyes are washing my undeserving face.

I have imagined the  honor of your arms around my neck.

I can feel the weight of you pressing into me, willing my heart closer. But the weight is lighter than air.

The weight is uplifting.

And soon my feet can no longer feel the earth beneath them, nor even the weight of my own body.

I am breathing deeply the sweet sent of your neck as you wrap me closer and closer.

You are speaking, but I have never cared less what words have left your lips,

just the tone of your voice has soothed me into reverence.

You are proposing again and again Husband.

You are asking for my hand.

You are asking me to be alive.

You are asking me, with awestruck eyes, to return your gaze when once I wished for you not to exist at all.

While I stumble beside your graceful footfalls,

The world gazes at me with renewed eyes and whispers,

“have you seen a more beautiful wife?”

“have you seen a Husband with more loving eyes?”

And as You slide a ring upon my hand,

You adorn me with far more than clothing and jewels,

You adorn me with the memory of who I am.

Of who I was always meant to be.

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